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Tag: you don’t really love me

divorce q + a

Every now and then someone asks me deep questions about my divorce, which happened exactly and painfully on DEC 18, 2018. My perspective on this life event changes day by day, week by week. The experience has opened a spigot to the grief inside of me. I suspected it was there. But I had never tapped it. My emotional position toward my divorce, especially when…

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♥ ∞ < Ø

Senior Class Awards Instructions Please nominate one girl (G) and one male (M) for each category of awards. These awards will be given out at our senior breakfast June 7th. Please include first and last names of the individuals you nominate. Most Likely to Be President:  _____________ Best Smile:    _____________ Best Hair:    _____________ Best Personality:    _____________ Most likely to be a comedian:    _____________ Most likely to…

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Level Her Off

    “Just because a cat has her kittens in an oven, you don’t call them biscuits.”   –Vicki Lane, Art’s Blood     There was this man I used to know, I want to call him a guy, but he was more of a man to me than a guy, and he appeared to be very smart. He wore glasses, he was a lawyer,…

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Rude Boy

  “If somebody holds two doors for you in a row, do you thank him/her twice? (Up to you.) How do you handle a foil-clad baked potato? (Peel the foil off, but don’t crumple it into a ball.) On the morning of their departure, is it rude for the hostess to bowl into her guests’ bedroom, rip the sheets off the mattress, and suggest they…

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Are you mad at me?

  “My family says: “Don’t ever see him again!” And implies things in a low voice. But my eyes have their own life; they laugh at rules, and know whose they are. I believe I can bear on my shoulders whatever you want to say of me. Without the energy that lifts mountains, how am I to live?” from “All I Was Doing Was Breathing” by…

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guilt is a racket

      “One major situation in which people give phony or “plastic” strokes is when they feel they should give strokes and actually have none to give. Either because they are directly asked, but usually because a person is coming on Victim and hooking her, a person may feel that she should come across with strokes. Under such circumstances, it is often the case…

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  “There is a moment in a sales pitch when an arm around the shoulder or a hand on the back will help swing the deal. . . But you must know that moment! Try it too soon and you kill the deal—too late and you’ve lost your opportunity.”   Julius Fast and Meredith Bernstein, Sexual Chemistry   The man in the yellow cigarette boat…

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The Brain That Wouldn’t Die



“His affection for his present wife grew steadily. Her cleverness gave him no trouble, and, indeed, he liked to see her reading poetry or something about social questions; it distinguished her from the wives of other men. He had only to call, and she clapped the book up and was ready to do what he wished.  Then they would argue so jollily, and once or twice she had him in quite a tight corner, but as soon as he grew really serious, she gave in. Man is for war, woman for the recreation of the warrior, but he does not dislike it if she makes a show of fight. She cannot win in a real battle, having no muscles, only nerves. Nerves make her jump out of a moving motor-car, or refuse to be married fashionably.”

E.M. Forster, Howard’s End


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getting the love you want



Marie follows him into the rut: “When did you ask me to have sex? Go through it with the couples,” she says, gesturing around the room. “Was it last night?”

“Last night—and then several times last week.”

“Okay.” Marie pounces. “Now what was going on last night when you asked me that?”

“You were doing a lot of study.” Clem is a deer caught in the headlights.

“No, I was not doing a lot of study. It’s different, different.”

“Can I stop you both?” Marie and Clem both train their eyes on Coché. “I want the group to give you a little feedback. Let’s clue into the noncontent way you’re communicating.”


From The Husbands and Wives Club, A Year in the Life of  A Couples Therapy Group by Laurie Abraham.



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