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“Just because a cat has her kittens in an oven, you don’t call them biscuits.”
–Vicki Lane, Art’s Blood  Add a Tooltip Text


There was this man I used to know, I want to call him a guy, but he was more of a man to me than a guy, and he appeared to be very smart. He wore glasses, he was a lawyer, and he had graduated from Harvard. Smart. He said to me, and he was trying to be helpful and kind, he said, “I know that you are only playing dumb. That underneath your ditzy act you are a very smart girl.“

People wear jeggings, thong underwear, wallet chains.

My first true romance was in junior high school with Scott, a boy in the grade above me. When he called me at home he always said he was watching “The Three Stooges,” and I sensed that he was trying to impress me, though he didn’t need to. I was completely smitten, drugged with love. It was really about his eyes and his basketball uniform.

People enjoy watching horror films, sitcoms, and talk shows.

The first time Scott kissed me I was chewing on a king-sized bite of a Snickers bar. This failed first kiss was a source of shame and remorse for me. Then it became a joke between us. Scott put me down pretty quickly, though. He exchanged me for a cheerleader with shorter legs and when he did it, he did it on the phone. He quoted the parting scene in Casablanca. I took little comfort in the reference, as I had never seen the film. In fact, I had never even heard of it, and there was no Google or Youtube to help me out.

People miss the Twinkie, though we turned our backs when it was still alive.


film clip is from the Three Stooges, Three Little Sew and Sews, 1939
song is “Surround Me With Your Love,” Stephane Pompougnac, 2003