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Category: self less ish ness

and so i repress myself

 

 

And so I repress myself, and swallow the call-note of depth-dark sobbing. (leishman)
And so I restrain myself and swallow the luring call of dark sobbing. (macintyre)
So I withhold myself and keep back the lure of my dark sobbing. (garmey/wilson)
And so I restrain myself and suppress the luring call with somber sobs. (boney)
So I control myself and choke back the lure of my dark cry. (poulin)
And since that’s the case I choke back my own dark bird-call, my sobbing. (young)
So I hold myself back and swallow the call-note of my dark sobbing. (mitchell)
And so I contain myself; choke back the appealing child’s cry of my innermost part. (gass)
And so I master myself and hold back the appealing outcry of my childhood heart.(gass)

 

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a bully for you

[flowplayer src=’http://www.bootrundle.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/bottlerocketwesanderson2.m4v’ splash=’http://www.bootrundle.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/brss.png’]   “What is your aim in philosophy? To show the fly the way out of the fly-bottle.” –ludwig wittgenstein film clip: bottle rocket by wes anderson   I finished college in the middle of the winter because I had messed around too much to graduate on time the previous May with the rest of my class. Another student had rented my room,…

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star power

 

“Once I was beset by anxiety. I couldn’t tell right from left or orient myself. I could have cried out with terror at being lost. But I pushed the fear away—by studying the sky, determining where the moon would come out, where the sun would appear in the morning. I saw myself in relationship to the stars. I  began weeping, and I knew that I was all right.”

Louise Bourgeois, New York, 1977

 

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lord, not again

[flowplayer src=’http://www.bootrundle.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/crazy-heart3.m4v’ splash=’http://www.bootrundle.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Screen-Shot-2012-01-29-at-8.13.47-PM2.png’]

 

but how would you like it
if you never knew from one day to the next
if you were going to spend it

striding around like a vivid god,
your shoulders in the clouds,
or sitting down there amidst the wallpaper,
staring straight ahead with your little plastic face?

(Billy Collins, from “Some Days”)

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bad environments

[flowplayer src=’http://www.bootrundle.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/heistheone3.m4v’ splash=’http://www.bootrundle.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/matrix2.png’]

 

Why do people often feel bad in good environments and good in bad environments?

Why do people often feel so bad in good environments that they prefer bad environments?

Why is it that a man riding a good commuter train from Larchmont to New York, whose needs and drives are satisfied, who has a good home, loving wife and family, good job, who has unprecedented “cultural and recreational facilities,” often feels bad without knowing why.

(Walker Percy via Spalding Gray)

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the big lunch

  “Nelson Lyon came over with Michael O’Donoghue, the writer on Saturday Night Live, and he’s a funny guy but he doesn’t look Irish. He said that at a party I took a picture of him, but I must have been aiming at somebody behind him. He looks like he wants to be Buck Henry. I hadn’t invited them for lunch and they saw all…

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nothing is happening

Q: There is suffering and bloodshed in East Pakistan at the present moment. How do you look at it? How does it appear to you, how do you react to it?

A: In pure consciousness nothing ever happens.

Q: Please come down from these metaphysical heights! Of what use is it to a suffering man to be told that nobody is aware of his suffering but himself? To relegate everything to illusion is insult added to injury. The Bengali of East Pakistan is a fact and his suffering is a fact. Please, do not analyze them out of existence! You are reading newspapers, you hear people talking about it. You cannot plead ignorance. Now, what is your attitude to what is happening?

M: No attitude. Nothing is happening.

 

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truth into lies

 

“the compulsive and repeated effort to invent and re-invent oneself is fundamentally a form of ‘lying’ – or fictionalization – and that ‘truth’ is made up of a succession of lies.

D. Joselit, Mark Morrisroe’s Photographic Masquerade, 1995

Hair can’t lie. Agassi made it up again and again. Now he is bald.

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borrowed forces

dna

In its relation to the id, the ego is like a man on horseback, who has to hold in check the superior strength of the horse; with this difference, that the rider tries to do so with his own strength while the ego uses borrowed forces. The analogy may be carried a little further. Often a rider, if he is not to be parted from his horse, is obliged to guide it where it wants to go; so in the same way the ego is in the habit of transforming the id’s will into action as if it were its own.

from The Ego and the Id, by Sigmund Freud

 

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