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JAN: Oh, not now, I’ve gotta finish my most popular girl acceptance speech. I give it on Senior Night.
MARCIA: All I want to know is . . . Who’s your date for the dance afterwards?
JAN:The most popular boy, naturally. Billy Garst.
MARCIA: You didn’t say he asked you.
JAN: Oh well, he hasn’t yet. But he will. Who else would he take but the most popular girl?

from The Brady Bunch, Season 5, Episode 13, “Miss Popularity”

Hi. Want to have coffee?
Bring a good problem.
Because if we don’t have any problems, what are we going to talk about?

Problems. I’ll give you a problem.

Talk talk talk talk talk talk talk.
Talk long enough and we can come up with something horrible that’s happening to someone.
For example, a toddler got mauled by a bear.
And another kid fell into a well in Texas.
A tourist from Pasadena went missing in Mexico. She left her cell phone in the hotel room.
That’s a very bad sign.

I don’t know the toddlers or tourist in question.

But think of something. Okay?
Let’s have coffee.

If we don’t have a problem, then we have no drama. If have no drama, we’ve got no story.
No story means NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT. So then we just sit there looking at each other.
We’re going to see a lot of things we don’t like.

Story-less, and thus friendless, she’s on her way to a party. She is going by herself.
Isn’t that brave?

Let’s be brave.
Let’s all be brave.

Let’s find something to be brave about.
Not a party. Something else.

For example, a schoolteacher was running errands with her elderly grandmother in Ohio.
There was a tornado warning on the radio, but they really needed to pick up some haircare products at a beauty-supply store.
What happened was . . .