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Category: the emotional future

a feelings machine

What are you feeling? Can you locate the feeling in your body? Can you locate your body? Can you locate a doctor who can locate your body? If you don’t like doctors, try a lover. If you don’t want a lover, perhaps a personal trainer. To host a feeling in my body. The lost art. To find the feeling, identify it, hang out with it,…

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crackpot or cracked pot

i’ve always suspected the feeling comes first but where does it come from? a feeling comes. there are no words for this feeling and really, let’s stop with the words for feelings. WORDS ARE NOT UP TO THE TASK better to use gods let’s start with one word for a feeling: love think how many feelings that has to cover let’s try another: fear are…

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“a coldblooded and factual account of your last sixty trillion years”

I was disappointed, unsettled, and even ashamed that my curiosity and research around emotional entities led me to L. Ron Hubbard. L Ron Hubbard, for those who don’t know, is the founder of Scientology. Like Charles Manson, he is dead. Or more accurately, he has “left his body.” But unlike Charles Manson, Hubbard’s cult lives on and has bought up a shit-ton of real estate in…

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daddy issues

(just a reminder that i am making myself the subject of this experiment. i therefore speak as a fictional character, the subject “elizabeth.” and also, i am reporting all this as the scientist in the white coat, Dr.T.) What did I do? Scrambled for connection and validation Was constantly guessing… is this love or is this hate? Is he nice or mean? Seduced and begged…

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a buffet of marital bickering with bloody hands

i “live tweeted” macbeth next up: Othello tweets: goal. identify feelings. looking at shakespeare as a template for the reporting of human emotion. the theory i am playing with has to do with feelings as entities that are evolving. that feelings are not unlike viruses or bacteria. and stories, literature, movies. these things are human feelings trying to understand themselves. through their human hosts. how…

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the demon energy of what you don’t want

“re-examine all you have been told in school or church or in any book, and dismiss whatever insults your own soul” walt whitman here’s a feeling i was struggling with this week.. i felt bullied by a woman… bullied by a woman… bullied by a woman….(echo echo echo) not a new feeling for me, not unfamiliar this woman was in a position to mentor or…

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i was a jerk to myself until now

  In the past, I distracted myself… or tormented myself…enslaved myself? with the fantasy, illusion, delusion, obsession that I could get other people to do for me what me what I could only do for myself. … the simple gift of paying attention to my feelings, showing up for my deep self, and offering love and validation to myself. Simple, not easy. In fact, the…

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tantrums are messages from outer space

I’ve been reading, or trying to read, this collection of lectures by the physicist Richard Feynman. theoretical physicists spend a lot of time making things up. they test these ideas later to see if their theories actually hold. this is the way experimenting works in science. Feynman made a lot of shit up and some of it turned out to be true. obviously the leaders…

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is loneliness a monster?

today i am starting, officially or unofficially, my new writing experience. i just finished printing another final final final final final revision of the novel i have been working on for the last, gulp, six years. gosh maybe seven years? i don’t have the balls to confirm the exact date i started but ….a long ass time ago. this other project has been brewing in…

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