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“How could they see anything but the shadows if they were never allowed to move their heads?”

—Plato, The Republic

My name is Charlotte Newton, but people call me Charlie. I live in Santa Rosa, California in 1943. You only wish you could go back and live in such a sweet, innocent place. But that’s the whole point. I get sullied, you see, everything gets sullied, and ruined by my uncle, who is evil. For a long time, my only problem is that my mother and father are stupid idiots. But something happened in my mother’s family, something that has twisted her and her brother, and it’s only a matter of time until it catches up with us.

I was named after my mother’s brother–my Uncle Charlie. And we are like twins, psychically connected. This turns into a big problem when Uncle Charlie comes to visit us in Santa Rosa. I have a friend, Katherine, who is dying to get laid, but I‘m the one who everyone wants to get into bed. Even my uncle has his eye on me. But I’m too smart, too quick, too well dressed to get caught in his hairy, grasping hands. I mean, he gets them on me, here and there, but there’s no permanent damage. I’ll still get married.

As it turns out, Uncle Charlie is a strangler, literally. He kills women and takes their money. In his eyes, they are swine who live to overeat, play cards, and wear diamonds. They deserve to die, to Uncle Charlie’s way of thinking. It’s not his fault, that he thinks like that; he had an accident on his bike when he was a little kid and he hit his head. The injury turned him into a psychopath. So now he has sex with women, then kills them. Widows, mostly. That’s his thing.

Hitchcock Heroine: Charlie Newton
Movie: Shadow of a Doubt
Best Feature: My eyes
Worst Feature: I find it hard to walk in high heels
Boyfriend’s best feature: He’s a detective
Boyfriend’s worst feature: Weak chin (really weak)
How I got rid of Uncle Charlie: threw him off a train