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“Mom used to scream that she couldn’t wait until I had children so I would know what hell was like. My grandma would put her arm around me and laugh.”

-Lynda Barry, from One Hundred Demons Add a Tooltip Text


Having babies, then children (grown-up babies): this is a people person’s job. It’s a relationship, you know, between you and each of your kids. People who find relationships challenging will find parenting a challenge.

People who don’t have kids can get their pilot’s licenses and fly small planes around Vermont. They can perfect their bodies and practice redundant personal hygiene. They can travel for twenty dollars a day in Vietnam and take classic French cooking in Paris for a whole lot more. Assuming they have funding.

If people without kids do not have funding, they can watch Frontline and worry about their teeth. They can eat onion bagels with unheard-of varieties of colored cream cheese. They can harbor self-centered resentments (FREE!) and shop with coupons. Coupons burn up a lot of time.

Of course, people with children, and people with funding, can also use coupons.

Have a baby today.