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Average people: they tell each other in precise detail what was on their boarding house menu. –Robert Musil, Diaries1899-1941. Published by Basic Books, A Member of the Perseus Group. 1998.

 


Don’t you want to be like that cute, average girl who sells Progressive insurance on TV? She’s not a stark raving beauty, but she’s no dog, either.

I used to eat at a vegetarian, Chinese restaurant where you could order ox tail soup, ox testicles, and ox tongue. But of course the dishes were not really made with pieces of ox. Everything was made with bean curd, dressed up and sculpted.

There is a spiritual teacher who looks like an elf and speaks with a Canadian-German accent. He believes western culture, and by extension the entire modern global village, is sick and insane. Okay. Everyone’s crazy. I’m sold.

Just cover the basics and you win the gold.

I’m talking clean your clothes, fold them, and put them back in the drawers, BEFORE you start wearing them again. Don’t take them right out of the dryer and put them on. Don’t do that.

And clip your toenails before they tear flesh from your spouse’s leg while she’s sleeping. Brush your teeth. Be nice, even polite, to the people you love.

Moles and badgers live underground. Rats and otters stick to the river. Toads are addicts and mess everything up no matter what. But they have nice houses.

 

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