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How To Listen

The goal is constructive communication with ZERO NEGATIVITY.

  1. DETAILS
    Listeners share favorite details from story. Feedback facilitator records these details on white board. No further comment. The details are simply highlighted and recorded.
  2. APPRECIATION
    Participants flood the storyteller with what they MOST appreciate about the story. One thing per listener (prioritize!). If two or more listeners agree on the same appreciation, the facilitator marks it as a plus one. Not everyone has to express a different appreciation.
  3. MIRRORING
    Storyteller mirrors back these appreciations as they are given.
    (Use attached script for MIRRORING PROCESS.)
  4. EMPATHY/CURIOSITY EXCHANGE
    A listener expresses feelings about the story from a place of empathy or curiosity. All feedback is expressed using the attached EMPATHIZING STEMS.

MIRRORING PROCESS

Appreciation

LISTENER: one thing I appreciate about your story is . . . .

STORYTELLER:
Let me see if I got it.
You said one thing you appreciate about my story is that… (mirrors it back exactly)
Did I get that?

LISTENER:
YES you got it.
or
NO you didn’t quite get it. What I appreciated was . . .

STORYTELLER:
Is there more?

Until the listener feels his or her appreciation has been heard.

STORYTELLER: Is there more?
If yes, repeat the mirroring process.

EMPATHY/CURIOSITY STEMS (choose one)

What your story makes me feel is …..

Your story reminds me that . . .

I would like to know more about . . . .

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